The Pain and Joys of Womanhood

Womanhood | By Chipo Longwe, Banker | 31 October 2014

It all starts with pink ponies, pretty ribbons with delicate flowers, Barbie dolls, which suddenly changes when she becomes a woman. I watched the movie I do not know how she does it at the request of my friend Pam who wanted to know if it was exaggerated. To be honest I related to most of it because I go through the many roles – woman, wife, mother, sister amongst a few.  I don’t recall going through training but it happened so naturally and then I realised why God created the woman and made her special. This is because he believed he had created a good thing. Its sounds cliché I know but women do take up challenging roles. 

Before a woman is married she has a bridal shower that I believe is to pamper and shower her with all the goodies for her new home, but these days it is more of a training ground where everyone is sharing what they feel will work in her new life.  I believe it is a different ball game all together because every marriage experience is different and the training starts as soon as you say “I do”. I am a working mother and wife and I do have my challenges and joys that have come with being both. 

I have three boys with whom my husband helps me with,  although there times that even he can never understand what being a woman and mother takes.  Most marriage seminars describe us as the pink because of the softness we carry yet there is some toughness that we come with as well. Being a wife I have had to turn the house into a home regardless of the differences we might have.

Embracing “outlaws”, my experience needs the whole day but then the toughness came to my rescue … can I get an AMEN from a daughter in law who can relate to this. The pregnancy, swollen nose and feet and the makeup just won’t work. Motherhood comes to play, best moments ever taken over by swollen breasts and stitches which all disappear in a split second because of the love of a mother for her child.  Sleepless nights, hot body, screaming I look back now a few years later and wonder how I managed it. 

Pursuing my career at the same time is most challenging, trying to deal with work pressures and ensuring the children’s welfare is intact.  I thank God every day that He takes care of them when I am away from them. Getting home after a hard days’ work is daunting as you try to separate work and home.  It is an effort you put, kids expect your full attention and you have to relieve the help from their pressure too.  Ensuring they are fed and tucked in.  My sons are growing up and it is important that I communicate with them because my role can easily be taken over by the help. So, regardless of how tired I am I put in extra time and effort to talk and play with them.  Having embarked in school to better myself I regret and wish I had done it earlier to avoid missing out on time with the kids and husband as most of my weekends are spent at school.

Ensuring I am in good shape physically, I try and wake up early and do a thirty to forty minute jog so as to maintain a good body and further build my confidence. All this is done by one person in a day. Some could feel it isn’t much but it is challenging and my desire is to make sure I achieve a healthy and happy life for my family and myself.  I ask myself how I manage to be a wife, mother and friend to my family.  I look up and realise it can only be my God who sustains me through it all. My family reflect and are identified by who I am His grace is ever sufficient and like the book of  Proverbs says beauty and charm can be deceiving but one thing that makes a woman whole is the fear that she has for her Lord.