Relationship Compatibility

Society & Culture | By Thamsanqa Mawerera, Chef / Poet | 01 December 2015

Before I delve into this delicate, great subject I need you as the reader to make sure that you have an open mind when reading this article. A lot of people don't really understand what compatibility is let alone relationship compatibility so here's my two cents hoping that it helps someone out there.

What is relationship compatibility? I've been hearing that question more often so as I sat there trying to think what it could be I came up with what I think it is and was compelled to share.

Firstly we need to define the word "compatibility". It is defined as being capable of existing or performing in harmonious or agreeable combination. Capable of being grafted, transfused, or transplanted from one individual to another without reaction or rejection. Capable of forming a chemically or biochemically stable system.

We want to look at relationship compatibility. In terms of dating/courtship/relationship there are 3 main aspects I'd like to dwell on that determine compatibility in my view. These are:
- Spiritual
- Social
- Physical

In broader and more explanatory ways SPIRITUAL compatibility is very important. Then again it has different levels of importance to some. If you're an individual who's very strong spiritually with strong beliefs and opinions about prayer, baptism and holidays then you're more than likely to be compatible with a person who's equally strong and with similar beliefs. I've seen so many compromise their values to be with someone but the moment you compromise your morals/values/standards to be with someone then I'm afraid to say you're going nowhere fast!

The SOCIAL aspect has more to do with our experiences with our families, friends and upbringing. Outgoing and very social beings more often than not need other social individuals. Suffice it to say, opposites do attract, sometimes, but again I have to reiterate the importance of being yourself and not compromising. Being yourself to someone you're interested in or attracted to is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's more than just being alike though. It's about seeking similar things in your personal lives. For example if you both value family, it is a good indicator of a strong component to your overall compatibility.

Lastly, the PHYSICAL aspect. I'd like to think it's equally as important as being spirituality compatible. Attraction may come and go with time honestly but you need a basis/foundation to begin with. Lack of physical chemistry doesn't mean the relationship is bad, it merely just means it's platonic and a platonic friendship is not to be blown away just like that. Something may eventually come of it. I read something the other day that said "marry someone who can cook because looks fade but hunger doesn't!" As funny as that is it's also a fair point. Of course we all want a person who's easy on the eye but easy on the eye is relative. Like the common adage, "one mans meat is another mans poison."

That's it from me till next time, keep the faith, God is love & peace. Much love to you!!